First, if you have not read the first post on this topic, you can find it here.
I believe women have been commonly left in the dark when it comes to much of the behavior of some men. Some men have not been honest. Because women are not men, men can tell women something about men that is not true.
Understandably, some women believe it. One of the falsehoods told to women is the fact that men just need and love sex so much that they can’t help but to sleep around.
Women have bought into it in many cases, and there has been a tolerance to male promiscuity that should have never been there. The truth of the matter is, men do tend to want sex more often, and seem to desire it more intensely, whereas women tend to have a much more moderated drive.
God’s plan is for marriage and procreation.
God created men with a drive that would cause them to pursue women, the women respond, and in marriage they procreate. His drive is to pursue a wife for reproduction and relationship. Otherwise, humanity would have gone extinct.
However, Satan likes to pervert things, including sex. There are also other reasons unrelated to their God-given sex drives that are big reasons behind certain men’s sexual behaviors. Male promiscuity is a result of brokenness, lack of fellowship with God, low self-value, boredom with how God designed sexual boundaries, and over-inflated egos that crave boosting.
Here is proof that male promiscuity is not simply about a man’s sex drive:
1) For many guys, it’s largely about “power” and “affirmation.“
So-called power is why some men assault women; These weaklings use their bodies as assault weapons. This is not normal, and it is not of God. When it comes to men’s promiscuity and the woman has consented, often, it also has to do with ego, lust, perceived power, and affirmation.
• A woman is the one who is the pursued prize, with sexual power in that regard, and it seems a player feels he can take that ball and put it in his court.
• He can do this by getting in her head with smooth words, and use various ploys so that she will give him her body; thus he has “conquered” her.
• This would be the change in the dynamics of power, that he seeks, with him now having the upper hand in his mind.
Powerplays.
2) A man once explained to me that men have a “conquering” thing. They want to “conquer” women sexually.
I spoke to a different man about what the first man had told me, and this man admitted that it was true and acknowledged that he now felt exposed because I knew. We can see that power and domination are influencers in promiscuous men’s behaviors.
Men do innately want sex and to reproduce, but for many, their God- given drives have been distorted and perverted. What some men don’t seem to be willing to admit to is the fact that a false sense of validation is attached to the bragging rights and keeping score of sleeping around.
3) A pastor named Pastor Moore admitted that some men simply like sneaking around.
Pastor Moore said he used to suffer from sexual immorality himself. He said that sometimes men get exposed to dirty stuff, (ie. dirty magazines and or raunchy, perverted flicks) when they are little boys. They learn at young ages to sneak around and they become addicted to sneaking around.
He said some men will begin to flirt at first at the office or wherever, and then carry on affairs from there, because they are addicted to sneaking around. The pastor said that this desire is insatiable. He said he used to have the problem, and without supernatural deliverance, the desire is never satisfied.
This would once again confirm to me that men sleeping around is not simply because they have strong sex drives; there seems to be obvious malevolent other reasons tied to it.
Some men seem to simply need something to brag about- especially sex…even about supposed to happen sex that didn’t even happen.
4) I spoke to a man who admitted he had problems with sexual dysfunction and he bragged to me about a failed attempt with a prostitute.
The lack of functioning can happen for different reasons, and does not make a man less than a man. The very interesting thing is that this man was actually bragging. He wanted me to know that he had attempted to hook up with a prostitute.
He excitedly told me how he had met up with her and his eyes were glowing with pride as he explained to me that he couldn’t function, and she became angry with him and left. He looked so captivated with his story, and he looked as if he was in a daze as he relived the experience.
Really?? I was disgusted. I could see how cocky he was. An incident that could be expected to bring embarrassment was something that he felt was brag,-worthy.
I suppose because it revolved around him attempting to “conquer” a prostitute, he thought he had accomplished something, simply by being there and trying to make it happen. Wow! Seems he thought that the act that didn’t even happen was an achievement!
I could see once again that much of the bliss was so-called bragging rights about the act; or in this case the attempted act. Can we say foolishness? Can we say pathetic? Can we say E-G-O?
5) One young man who was in the process of healing and deliverance, admitted he used to womanize. He stated that he felt like that was what he was supposed to do, to live up to what it supposedly meant to being a man.
It had left him pretty miserable, he said. His admission was yet more proof of what I had already suspected-that men do not have to act out sexually the way they do, but are trying to live up to some expectation that they feel will get them approval, praise, ego boosts, and bring false sense of adequacy. There is a lot of ego and entitlement involved.
Many boys are not trained well by their fathers. Some men suffer from low self-esteem and inadequacy for various reasons. Promiscuity is a sinful substitute for true validation which is found in Jesus Christ.
Some of these men needed their earthly father’s approval and love, but never received it. Their fathers did not give them affirmation, but they believe womanizing affirms them. Some were deprived of their mother’s love.
Promiscuous men have also been conditioned by society. They are deceived to believe promiscuity will provide them the validation they need.
Holiness and purity are important to God. God has a special plan and purpose for sex between a husband and wife. Monogamy is mandated.
Because of lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life, sexuality has become perverted by many. There is so much depravity in the world that there are slim pickings when it comes to finding people who are truly in Christ.
I want to see things the way God sees them. This includes having the right perspective about sex. I desire for other men and women to have the same perspectives that align with God’s will. Whatever purpose God has for something, my motives should be in agreement with it.
Women have been conditioned to be tolerant to men’s cheating. I do believe it’s learned more so than natural. Although, women tend to be more agreeable, docile and forgiving sometimes. It’s important for women not to enable or reinforce any bad behaviors, including promiscuity.
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life, are not of the Father.” 1 John 2: 16.
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