To all the single ladies: Please do not affirm a man’s bad behavior. Men should not affirm women’s bad behavior either. Women have often played a major role in the dysfunctionality of their men throughout history.

Why? Because women are helpers, supporters, enablers. Women are either helping men to be good or helping them to be bad. Women either affirm men or they don’t.

In fact, the way women are wired by God, we have a more gentle, agreeable nature in general. These are actually good traits when we use them correctly. In unhealthy situations, women have been continuously taken advantage of because of these traits.

Even in some churches and within cults, the women are encouraged to be martyrs for the men in their lives.

Interestingly enough, usually, the husbands are not berated in such a fashion or encouraged to be martyrs for their wives. The women are encouraged to put up with their husband’s lawlessness and to suffer because Jesus suffered.

All Christ followers should be willing to suffer as Jesus suffered; it is not just women who are called to suffer. In addition, this fact does not cancel out that a woman should make wise decisions beforehand on who she will marry, based on God’s holy standards.

The Word of God is balanced, but false teachings are often taught in a one-sided way. They take facts out of context. They don’t acknowledge as much as they should, that both men and women are 100% culpable, and that women should require of men what God requires of men.

Teachings that tell women to basically carry their men around, and put up with everything serve to help men live very easy lives, at the expense and pain of their women. Many women even embrace these teachings and have lived by them. A man who would encourage and teach such imbalanced teaching is cowardly and is not focused on being Christ-centered.

Instead, he is serving his flesh and catering to pride, rebellion against God, laziness, and aversion of responsibility and accountability. Thankfully, there are some men out there who will make wonderful, godly husbands for their wives one day! They are more rare and a woman needs God to be her matchmaker.

The woman of God’s desire should be that she glorifies God in all she does, including in who she marries. Why then, would she put God’s requirements for men on the sidelines to prove she is a martyr for a man, and marry him anyway, knowing he is not really in the Lord? This would not be glorifying to God, but it would be convenient for an ungodly husband.

People behave lawlessly because they can, and for other reasons such as sinful natures. In the case of some men, sometimes, their parents allow their bad behavior from childhood.

Also, society allows and encourages it, in some regards. Some of the women in their lives have allowed it. By the time a man like this meets a godly woman, he may very well be set in his ungodly ways.

A godly woman is to be a helper to a man who is doing the will of God. She should not get on board with a man who is not doing God’s will.

As Christian wives, women have the responsibility of being suitable helpers; to support and affirm husbands in being all that God calls them to be.

“And the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2: 18.

In Genesis 2: 20, it goes on to say, “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof ; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”

How beautiful! Single Christian women can start becoming helpmeets before marriage by applying God’s principles in their own lives and having godly principles as the standards for their man, as well. This does not take any responsibility whatsoever away from the men.

A woman can firmly resist bad behaviors in her man, and encourage him in righteousness by her own godly behavior and the godly standards she has for him. It is so important to utilize God’s word to help us as women to understand our purpose.

As women, we are not called by God to help men to be bad people! Yet, that is what has been going on in many cases.

The woman of God is to greatly assist, as a helmeet to her husband in helping him be the man that God calls him to be; not assist in and enable his sinful lifestyle. A woman cannot change a man and should not believe that she can.

A woman influences a man. A man will change when and if he wants to change. Sometimes, the influence of a woman’s refusal to accommodate him in lawlessness will give a man incentive to act right; especially, if he strongly desires to be with her.

Even then, it does not necessarily mean that he is sincere, or that he is the right person. Some people are simply actors who play temporary roles to get what they want. The godly woman must remain prayerful and discerning for accurate insight into the situation.

The man of God fears God, and does what is right in the sight of God. If he fears and obeys God, obviously, this will manifest in his behavior. It is up to women to set righteous standards, and to reject behaviors that contradict the will of God.

Some men who practice lawlessness may line up if women stopped accepting them as they are, when they are behaving in unacceptable manners.

Contrary to the thought pattern of some, it is not most important for a woman to be in a relationship or married . It is most important to be in the right, healthy relationship or marriage.

This is how women can influence: In short, say yes to the good (godly) in him; say no to the bad (ungodly) in him. Some people unfortunately will attempt to get away with whatever they can, simply because it is easy and convenient for them.

Remember, the Bible instructs the wife on how to conduct herself if her husband is disobedient to God. This is found in 1 Peter 3: 1-6. The woman with an ungodly husband is to behave in a godly manner, obeying God’s commands to submit.

She may influence her husband in this way. Whether he changes or not, she is still accountable to do right in the sight of God, in accordance with 1 Peter 3: 1-6. Her husband obviously is also accountable to God and will answer to Him.

As single women, we should not coach or cheer a man along in unrighteousness by agreeing with or going along with him, just so we can be in relationships. That is idolatry. The woman of God should keep God first in all things, adhere to kingdom standards, and she will reap abundant blessings!