I have addressed the fact that I have heard false, women-denigrating teachings in Spiritual Abuse Shaped Me and God’s Holy Word Healed Me. I have heard false teachings by different preachers. In this post, I will talk about the teachings of one preacher in particular. I believe his teachings have been the most damaging. I was influenced by this religious leader who taught hurtful, false, doctrine. I believed him as a young girl and also for a season as a woman. A major part of my spiritual and mental trauma came from his teachings.

Here are 7 things he taught:

1) The woman is a by-product of the man.

Yet, according to dictionary.com, this is the definition of a by-product: “A secondary result, unintended but inevitably produced in doing or producing something else.”

This man taught that the woman is a by product, when in fact, the woman was intentionally created. The word of God says:

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1: 26-27. 

As we can see, on the 6th day, God created them both. the male and the female. How is the woman incidental or secondary or a byproduct? “In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” Genesis 5: 1-2.

It is important to note the male and female were first created in spirit. They were first created in spirit and later formed getting a body-Adam from the dust (Genesis 2: 7), and Eve formed from a rib that was taken from the body of Adam (Genesis 2: 21-22).

• Both male and female were created before they were formed. This is something that Mr. Preacher and his followers never explained.

• They painted the picture that a woman was an afterthought and simply existed being a rib, created for Adam, but was not thought of before that.

• This preacher referred to the woman as simply being “A piece that God took off the man.”

Do you see why when we are not aware of all the facts, that this teaching is misleading and very diminishing to a woman’s existence? The idea that a woman is only a by product creates an illusion of superiority for the man. It makes it appear as if a woman is an afterthought made of “only a rib.” This makes it appear that a woman’s sole purpose is simply to have a husband and serve him.

Again, the male and female already existed in spirit (Genesis 1: 27; Genesis 5: 1-2), and were simply formed later, getting their bodies to live in while being on earth. Adam received his body before Eve received her body, so the man was formed first; but both male and female were created before that, in spirit, on the 6th day.

2) “The woman was not even in the original creation.”

This teacher taught that women were not in the “original” creation, were a by-product of the man. He taught that this was why there were so many things wrong with the woman. Because God gave Adam a physical body from the dust and had Adam working in the garden before He formed the woman, in the eyes of this teacher and his followers, this meant that the woman was not in the “original” creation.

Had this teacher read and taught correctly from the Bible, he would have seen and taught that the female was created originally along with the male in Genesis 1: 27-28.

The woman being formed, receiving her body after the man does not mean she was not original! Our bodies are dust and will go back to dust. The real us is our spirit man and spirit woman. According to Genesis 1: 26-28, the male and female spirits already existed before they received their bodies.

3) “There’s no one and nothing as low as, or that can stoop as low as the woman.”

This statement was believed and repeated by his followers. I could not understand it. I looked around and saw that the vast majority of rapes, murders, and many other lawless acts were committed by men. The men in this religious group were commonly prideful and hostile toward women. The women were more kind. I could not find Bible evidence that supported his statement either.

The Bible says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;...” Romans 3: 23.

However, this teacher claimed that he received revelations directly from God, and the people believed him and agreed with him. Some men in the group were eager to believe such teachings. Women made good targets, since they were docile and under submission.

People in the group revered Mr. Preacher as a modern day Elijah the prophet. I felt extremely offended, hurt, and bewildered, but I felt I had to accept his teachings about who I was as a woman.

4) Women somehow are in the wrong, or at fault for being pretty or beautiful.

Women were also “low” due to the fact that in the animal kingdom, other animals were created separately from the males. They were paired off. In contrast, a woman came out of a man, after the man was formed. Something was apparently inferior about her because she came out of the man.

This preacher stated that the female in the human species is the only female that’s prettier than the male. He said it as if something was wrong with this. Instead of honoring and appreciating that God created the woman the way she is, it’s almost as if he was envious. He attacked women’s God-given beauty. He said beauty is of satan.

On other sermons, he contradicted himself, and said it was ok to be pretty, because a woman is pretty for her husband. In addition, he pointed out that female animals usually mate once a year or so. Yet, the woman, the “by-product” could get pregnant at any time.

• Seems the implication here was that a woman is morally inferior, because she can have intimacy with her husband more than once a year and at any time. So now there was something wrong with women for being able to enjoy intimacy with their husbands on a regular basis as opposed to an annual mating ritual? Wow. Ouch. It is teachings like this that can cause women to be sexually repressed and to believe that sex was created for men.

God did say he would increase Eve’s conception, but I think instead of being able to get pregnant once a month approximately, perhaps she previously could only get pregnant a few times a year or less. Who knows. The point is, I don’t believe there is anything wrong with a woman being able to be intimate with her husband more regularly than once or twice a year!

The reality is, animals are not created in the image of God. Men and women are. There is a oneness between the man and the woman that does not exist with the animals.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. For this reason, I can see why the human male and female were created differently than animals. It is beautiful that the woman came from the man. They were one.

• I see why the husband and wife are one, and animals just pair up. For a husband and wife, intimacy is multi-dimensional; not only a physical act of reproduction.

• They are to deal with each other in benevolence. The sex act between a man and woman is to be an act of intimacy, and the husband and wife relationship should reflect the intimacy and union between Christ and the church.

• It should be an act of love, desire, and selflessness. The bed should remain undefiled.

• However, because of sin, some men can only view sex as a ritualistic mating act or sexually conquering act.

• Due to sin issues, some men are lustful, sexually mechanical beings.

5) “There’s no one and nothing more deceitful or as easily deceived as the woman.” 

Mr. Preacher made this statement as well, and people repeated it, using it against women. The truth of the matter is, yes, I believe some women tend to be gullible. I believe this comes from innocent naivety that is a result of trusting, wanting to please, wanting to get along.

I believe it is also due to the fact that women are to be led by righteous leadership. Following comes naturally. Women tend to have a more compliant, agreeable, and trusting nature.

However, the leadership is often not righteous, but women have often retained their compliant nature, desiring to please, until they are abused to the point where they become hardened and rebellious.

The person who believes they can’t be deceived just as much as the next person is greatly deceived.

How is it that women are more deceitful than men? When I observe the behaviors of men and women and look at trends, I cannot come to such a conclusion. Women can be very deceptive, and so can men.

Some men are very crafty, and they know this, but they see it as a skill. An example is the charmer, smooth talker, smooth operator. Men’s deception is a reason why some women believe false doctrine, and also why some marry the wrong man.

• Some men are also deceived when it comes to their lust and their infatuation with women and their bodies.

• Some men are deceived and prideful to believe they cannot be deceived! 

• They are deceived when they believe it is better to lie and deflect, instead of admitting faults or failure.

• It is a state of deception for some men to believe and live according to spiritually abusive teachings that denigrate women, and do not align with God’s word.

They are deceived in being attracted to these false teachings that appeal to their flesh, and make them feel good about being a man. It is safe to say that both men and women can be deceived and can be deceitful.

6) “God gives the man a right to divorce his wife if she cuts her hair, because she dishonors her head.”

Once again, it is very clear to me as I examine the scriptures, that he was way out of context and adding to the word of God. 1 Corinthians 11: 5-15 explains that a woman should have long hair, and explains why.

We will never find such a thing as God authorizing divorce, for a husband to punish his wife for cutting her hair in the Bible. Quite the opposite, God hates divorce. I see a reference to permission of a man putting away his wife once in the New Testament in the book of Matthew. The reason for putting her away in this case is for fornication.

I don’t see divorce as an option in Mark, (Mark 10: 2 -12) Luke (Luke 16: 18), or 1 Corinthians (1 Corinthians 7: 10-16, 27). It is my understanding that in Matthew, he is addressing a Jewish audience, but this is not so in Mark, Luke, or 1 Corinthians, so we see the different practices.

I do believe that between Joseph and Mary, he was going to put her away because they were betrothed. They were not yet actually married.

He was going to put her away at a point when they had not yet married.

• My understanding is that in a betrothal, the Jewish man could put her away for fornication.

• If this was the reason he put her away, he did not commit adultery by remarrying, and neither did she commit adultery by remarrying.

“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matthew 5: 32.

There is confirmation of this again in Matthew 19: 9.

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

• I am certainly not a Bible teacher, but studying the scriptures, I have come to some understandings.

• Joseph and Mary were not even actually married yet, but something like engaged; betrothed- all but married, perhaps.

• Under these terms, he could put her away for fornication. They could both remarry and not be committing adultery under those terms.

Mr. Preacher went on to say that after a man divorces his wife for cutting her hair, he can get remarried, and she can’t! I have a headache just remembering and writing about this stuff.

7) The woman (Eve) is to blame for all the problems in the world...Every crime, every disease was caused by the woman.

The logic behind this was that Eve was deceived and “caused” the fall of mankind. The reality is, Eve initiated in partaking of the forbidden fruit, and Adam willfully went along with it (Genesis 3: 6). It is very clear that Eve was actually deceived/duped (Genesis 3: 1; Genesis 3: 13), and Adam was not.

Adam could have intervened and reminded her that they were not to partake of that fruit. Notice, God started with Adam in the interrogation. Adam’s position in the chain of command is one of responsibility. After they had hidden themselves, God said, “Adam where art thou?”  Genesis 3: 9.

“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:…” Romans 5: 12. Adam carried the ultimate responsibility.

“Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come.”  Romans 5: 14.

The tendency of religious chauvinists is to blame women and twist the word of God to support their unholy agenda of demeaning women and exalting men.

Both the man and the woman sinned. They were held accountable and given consequences. The woman was deceived, and transgressed in that regard. Adam disobeyed and was held responsible. Death reigned from Adam. We cannot see here or say that death, sorrow, and everything bad comes from a woman! Eve played her part, but the man was the responsible leader.

The blame-shifting, and accountability shirking tendencies that are so common today can be found in Adam, post fall, in the garden of Eden. He basically blamed the woman and God for partaking of the forbidden fruit, instead of acknowledging he wasn’t deceived, but willfully sinned.

“And the man said, The WOMAN whom THOU gavest to be with me, SHE gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” Genesis 3: 12.

Women should have the truth in them and need to be able to recognize what is going on. It should be evident when others are misusing the Bible. Sadly, some women believe the lies and feel inferior. I also used to believe the lies and feel inferior- almost to the point of feeling purposeless.

What a disgrace and an offense against Almighty God. People who should pioneer in righteousness, and protect and serve others, are abusing those under their leadership. They portray a false god, false doctrine, slander, and bring reproach against God’s holy word and holy name.

I had to examine God’s word, pray, and retain God’s word in me over a period of time. Only then, was I able to be purged of the damaging lies that had been taught to me.

“But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.” Galatians 1: 8-9