Femininity, when examined according to God’s word is very different from both societal expectations and societal pressures on women. I have to be careful to resist the temptation to conform to societal or any other ungodly influence.

Let’s look into the word of God to see what God requires a woman to be like.

1) She is to love God with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength; and to love her neighbor as herself. Mark 12: 30, 31; Matthew 22: 36-40.

2) She is to live a dedicated, fully surrendered life, following Jesus.

“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?”  Luke 9: 23- 25.

3) She is to be primarily concerned with inner beauty, not outward beauty.

The Bible says a woman should adorn herself inwardly, which is to be in godliness, having a meek and quiet spirit. 1 Peter: 3-4. This is of great price in the sight of God. How precious!

This is contrary to social pressures to be the prettiest girl on the surface, or the woman with the best physique or the most popular. God is concerned with character and looks at the heart.

This does not mean a daughter of God lets herself go physically, because she is to glorify God in her body as well as in spirit. She is to take care of her temple, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

This includes eating reasonably healthy, exercising, etc. A religious spirit or legalism might imply that the Bible was telling women not to own nice clothing or jewelry, at all, but when we examine the scripture in context, it is saying that we should not focus on our outward appearance, so much as the inner woman.

1 Timothy 2: 9-11 confirms how a godly woman is to conduct herself. She is to dress modestly; not extravagant, over the top, or scantily clad. The scantily clad woman could be inviting a man to lust after her.

The Bible says something about men who lust after women in Matthew 5: 27-28:

Jesus says, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Again, the Bible is not saying here do not wear apparel or clothing at all. The Bible is not saying do not wear any jewelry and that someone cannot have a wedding ring.

A godly woman is not to use these outward adornments as the primary way to beautify herself, but is to conduct herself in holiness, which is true beauty. When she is beautiful inwardly, this will reflect in how she dresses and conducts herself outwardly.

4) She is to submit to and honor God’s order and the authority of her husband, as well as to others who are in authority.

This is in contrast to the radical feminist view that men and women are the same and there is no difference in roles.

The truth of the matter is, men and women are very different, but compliment each other well. God created men and women with equal value and worth, but in different roles: Genesis 1: 26-28; Galatians 3: 28.

When it comes to men’s and women’s roles, one or the other is not superior or inferior in value or worth.

The Bible does not support the idea that one person is inferior to the other. The man and the woman were created in the image of God (Genesis 5: 1-2).

God has placed the responsibility of righteous headship on the man. The woman has influential authority. Any leader should carefully, prayerfully consider and include the input of their advisors. The same applies in a marriage, where the wife has a lot of influence and wisdom to bring to bless her husband with and be a help-meet to him.

Her influence is very important, but this does not trump the man’s God-given responsibility and consequent authority. The husband will still be held responsible by God for decisions that are made.

The husband is also responsible for listening to, carefully considering, and tending to the needs of his wife, as well as loving his wife as Christ loved the church. The fact is, ideally, he puts God first, and his wife before himself.

His wife would also put God first ideally, and put her husband before herself. The husband’s leadership is really about responsibility, selfless, righteous servitude, and accountability; not about control, selfishness, domination or superiority.

5) A godly woman is to submit to God first, and as long as she is not sinning, she is to submit to all other authority He has established over her, whether it be her husband (Ephesians 5: 22- 23; Colossians 3: 18-19), her employer, or any governing authorities. 1 Peter 2: 13.

Before anyone gets excited or upset, the word submit has been twisted and abused. A man is called to love his wife in the ultimately most sacrificing, selfless way Ephesians 5:20 2533. Wives are commanded to submit; yield, cooperate with their husband.

Again, the idea of order is in contrast to the attitude of the modern day radical feminist. The truth of the matter is, there needs to be order, government, rules and laws that are in alignment with God’s righteousness. God has ordained leaders to enforce his righteousness.

Humans and society as a whole cannot function correctly without government. There would be much chaos, lawlessness and defiance against the will of God. God’s will is to be done, and He gave authority to leaders, for them to take the lead in making sure His will is done.

God is holy, desires holiness in us, and unity in holiness. We cannot be divided and going our own way. This is why everybody is to obey God first and foremost, and all that everyone does should reflect that.

God truly holds the power and reigns Supreme. It is His way and His will to be done. This is why there should never, ever be an abusive ruler, or a ruler who misuses their authority.

If a leader is obeying God, that leader will not mistreat anyone, and that leader would be a servant to those under their leadership, as they lead by righteous example, knowing God will hold them fully accountable for how they rule.

News flash- plenty rulers do not obey God, which is why we submit to human authority as much as we can, without sinning against God.

Of course, there are certainly wicked rulers, and we do not have to submit to them when they are requiring us to sin against God. God has not told us to make an idol out of a leader and disobey Him to submit to that leader.

Acts 5: 29 reminds us to obey God rather than man.

6) Godly femininity requires forsaking any societal influence to value and or prioritize being a career woman over being a wife and mother.

Instead, it is of the utmost importance to do according to the will of God by prioritizing being a godly wife and godly mother over career.

This does not mean all women will be a wife or a mother. That is an individual choice. I am referring to women who are already a mother and or wife. The working mother and wife should not prioritize career above her family.

This is in contrast to the career woman who wants to put her children in daycare or leave them with a babysitter while she puts being a wife and mother on the back burner to do her own thing.

Sadly, motherhood is devalued. Commonly, society seems to value career achievements over motherhood, and some women may not want to be known as “only” a wife or “only” a mother.

I believe that in the sight of God, it is far greater to be a godly wife and mother than to be a publicly recognized career woman.

Please understand I am not criticizing a wife for working. Plenty wives and mothers work outside the home, and rightfully so. Sometimes, there is a need to do so. A woman may have been abandoned and stranded and left as a single mother.

Or, her husband may work, but she may still need to help make ends meet. That would be the right thing for her to do, is to work as much as she can, while keeping her children safe and well cared for with a very trusted caregiver.

Being a career woman has it’s place, if it is necessary for a wife to work outside the home. Often, it is necessary. I am not against a wife working corporately, but I believe in prioritizing, according to the will of God and for the benefit of her family. Doing God’s will is of the utmost importance, whatever that entails for people in their individual circumstances.

If a woman is married, she is a wife before she is a career woman. If a woman is a mother, she is a wife first, and then a mother, before she is a career woman. Proverbs chapter 31 and Titus 2: 5 explains how a godly wife should be.

For single women, obviously, it is different, because we all need to make a living. A single, Christian woman should not rush to marry, or feel obligated to marry, but seek God’s will for her life. In addition, a wooman should marry safely to the right man only. The godly woman should be willing to prayerfully wait as long as it takes for that right, loving husband.

7) Godly feminity is not selfishly ambitious.

Many women can be unhealthily competitive, catty, and envious. The Bible says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” Phillipians 2 :2-3.

8) Serve Others.

In general- married or single, acts of selfless servitude and benevolence done in pureness of heart and fervence of love are a part of any godly woman’s ministry.