Some Christians have a list of sins they consider high-ranking and other sins they consider low-ranking on the scale of sinful. For many Christians, murder is high up there, as well as sexual immorality, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc.

What about the sins of gossip, slander, sowing discord, and envy?

Some Christians do it so often and carelessly, they likely do not even think of it as sin. Sometimes, what begins as a legitimate conversation about an issue of concern can turn into gossip, if it is not carefully handled. I have been examining my motives more for participating in certain discussions. When I say something about someone, I want to make sure it is necessary and coming from the right place.

Gossip scenario 1:

For example, I am involved in a group discussion. One of the people talks more than everybody else. It is hard for me or anyone else to get a word in. Out of frustration, I may say something to someone about how this person talks too much and how they should give others a chance to speak.

Something like that could start out innocently enough, but it really is not necessary for me in my frustration to point that out to someone else. That person may agree, and before we know it, we are talking about the person and the different things they do to irritate us.

– Is an unnecessary complaint to someone else about another person I have an issue with positive and productive? No.

– Would the person I am complaining about be offended if they knew I was talking about them in this way? Quite likely, yes.

– Would I like someone to complain to someone else about me? The answer is no.

Therefore, I shouldn’t be doing to someone else that I don’t want them doing to me. I have had situations where I had an issue with one person, but spoke to someone else about it. Now, I feel convicted about talking unnecessarily about people.

Why and when is it wrong for me to say something that is true?

– If it violates the golden rule, which is for me to do unto others as I would want them to do to me (Matthew 7: 12), I shouldn’t say it.

– If my heart convicts me.

“For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.” 1 John 3: 20

Even though what I am saying is true, I don’t want to talk about people unnecessarily. I want to be a blessing to others, and above all, I desire to please God.

Gossip scenario 2:

A couple is having problems in their marriage. A prayer request goes up before the church. Instead of simply praying for them, some folks get caught up in prying for and discussing extra details.

Both rumors and real facts quickly spread and become a hot topic. Some people reassure themselves it is ok to spread excess details around so that people can pray.

Before long, the couple’s business is on blast, including embellishments, fabricated details, and private matters, floating around inside and eventually outside of the church.

Without realizing it, church members begin to act differently toward the couple, based on what they know and have heard about them. The already stressed couple senses this and feels even more uncomfortable and stressed.

This scenario is embarrassing for the couple and not beneficial for them, or for the rest of the church. There are certainly topics that will need to be discussed and addressed in confidence, but only as much as is necessary.

Yet, gossip is rampant among many professing Christians. Knowing I am going to give an account for everything I say, it is really important for me to be careful with my words. I want to build others up with words; not tear them down.

Even if the motive for talking is not malicious, it could still be gossip.

I personally don’t spread lies or vicious gossip about people, but still can be tempted to talk about someone’s problems or pry unnecessarily out of curiosity. Gossip or slander is very destructive. It hurts people.

Gossip is often done carelessly, but also is done maliciously. Another fact is that some people lie. Sometimes, people tell a story, and it is not even true. Yet, other people just get on board with it and rumors spread like a nasty rash.

Envy also can cause someone to attack someone in a covert, but very effective way by spreading false rumors or spreading info about true, but private matters, making them public. This can cause division among people, and bring shame, embarrassment, and pain to the targeted person(s).

The world is watching the behavior of Christians. More importantly, God is watching and listening.

Yet, I have observed the following:

• What is sad is that many church-going folks gossip and slander as much, if not more than anyone else.

• It is not uncommon to find cliques, gossips, and bitter women and men in the church.

• Plenty church goers are envious, competitive, and two-faced people.

• It is common for some to have a materialistic attitude, compete and compare with each other.

• This must grieve God for such to go on in the house of the Lord or anywhere else.

• I understand the importance of examining myself and making sure I don’t get caught up in these things. Some issues are contagious.

• To help combat it, I should be a good example to others, and by God’s grace, be the change I want to see.

The Bible has something to say about these matters:

“These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” Proverbs 6:16-19.

“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” Proverbs 16: 28

“A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” Proverbs 11: 13

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4: 29

“And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.” 1 Timothy 5: 13

These issues are not even counting the false teachings, spiritual, sexual, and other types of abuse, affairs, and depravity going on in some churches.

Sobering truth:

“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” 1 Peter 4: 17.

These are some rules I have for myself:

1) If it doesn’t need to be said, then I should not say it.

2) If it is necessary to say, I need to say it to the right person, in the right way, and at the right time.

3) Say whatever I need to say from a pure heart.

4) Don’t entertain gossip coming from others. Yes, if they gossip to me about others, they are probably gossiping about me to others.

In addition, this is a wonderful prayer for myself and for anyone else who wants to be right before God:

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalms 19: 14.