How can you know the difference between a religious fraud or a true man of God? Honestly, it can be very tricky. Deception is rampant.

• That said, the man of God will consistently be producing primarily the fruit of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance (Galatians 5: 22-23).

• He should be humble, reliable. He will be repentant when necessary.

• He will take initiative in pursuit of the woman he is interested in.

• He will be kind, gentle, and show his lady love. His godly light will shine before others (Matthew 5: 15-16).

• He should have a calm, peaceful temperament.

• He will encourage and support his woman’s God-given talents.

• He will not be perfect, but will be bearing righteous fruit primarily. He should be consistent in his behavior.

Is church a good place to meet a godly man?

It can be. It makes sense that a woman would keep an open mind to the possibility that she may meet her husband at church. At the same time, having personally been exposed to cults, false teachers, and false converts myself, it is well known to me that there are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They are hanging out in the pews, they attend church functions, and at times, are in the pulpits, and wherever else too.

Never assume someone is a Christian because they practice the routine of church going and participate in church activities.

The problem with religious imposters is they do not know or fear God, but are perceived by others to be Christians.

Over time, their consistent fruits indicate otherwise.

A godly woman must be prayerful and discerning. She must be led by the Holy Spirit. I know…nobody is perfect. This is true! This does not take away from the need for caution, wisdom, and discernment. It doesn’t take away from the fact that people ought to do what is right.

I am a witness of women trying to take it too easy by brushing off red flags, fearing they will be too hard on their man and miss out on being in a relationship. Some of the women end up marrying and being miserable later. The right balance of prayerful observance, caution, and wisdom is necessary. Keep those righteous standards!

Below is a list of warning signs and alarm bells that should never be overlooked:

1) The man is fixated on gender roles in a way that does not align with Bible commands. He may have a warped understanding of a man’s “place” and a woman’s “place.”

For example, He feels his wife must always cook, and he must always take out the trash.

The wife must always do the laundry and he must always mow the grass; men don’t do laundry.

Instead of her being at his side, he must walk in front of his woman and she tags along behind him, to show that he is in charge.

She must have many children (quiver full) to fulfill her God-given calling.

2) His “Christianity” starts at Ephesians 5: 22 and ends at Ephesians 5: 24.

3) The man wants to make a scene out of his religiosity.

He may have Jesus stickers on his car, Bible verses posted all around his cubicle. He may show off his knowledge, frequently spewing Bible verses, etc.

He may make supernatural claims, bragging of supernatural events, or he may show off speaking in tongues.

4) He mocks, ridicules or discourages his woman’s goals, dreams, and God-given aspirations.

When his wife is being used by God, he may view his woman as competing with him, because he is insecure and stuck in performance mode to impress people.

In his mind, God uses him, so when his wife displays God-given talent, he feels threatened. Unfortunately, some people think that it’s all about them, instead of God. God uses whoever He will for His glory.

5) He has bitterness or hostility in general, or specifically toward women.

These emotions likely are not going away anytime soon without being addressed at the root. Some men have ongoing bitterness toward women.

A woman typically cannot be “good enough” to cleanse her man of his bitterness, even though she may believe she can cure him. He has to let go of unforgiveness and bitterness. He must seek supernatural deliverance and healing.

6) Beware of inconsistent behavior: 

Perhaps he alternates between loving, doting behavior, and unloving or controlling behavior. Maybe he is very present sometimes, absent at other times.

It is good not to be entrapped by his part time loving behavior and ignore or make excuses for the rest.

  If he is not a man of his word; if he makes promises he doesn’t keep, beware.

7) Demanding too much of his woman’s time.

It is anticipated that a couple in love will want to spend a lot of time together. That has it’s limits though.

A woman should take particular notice if her man is unkind to her, and yet, obsessively trying to spend a lot time with her. The two do not compute.

Beware if he seems obsessive about spending nearly all the time together or is checking in by phone excessively.

Sometimes, insecurity causes people to have active imaginations and they feel a need to keep tabs on their partner because of that. A woman should use her best judgment if her man seems extreme in his behavior.

8) He attempts to isolate his woman.

I cannot think of any good reason whatsoever that a man who cares about  a woman would try to isolate her from healthy relationships between her and other people who love and care about her.

9) He is preoccupied with women’s conduct and obedience moreso than he is concerned about men’s obedience- particularly, his own.

For example, he believes it is worse for women to disobey God’s word than for men to be disobedient. After, all, the woman was deceived in the garden of Eden; not the man.

He believes and behaves as if a woman’s submission to him is more important than his own submission to Jesus Christ and more important than him submitting to her needs. The Bible does not teach that:

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

If he knows to love his future wife as Christ loved the church as he is commanded to, he should understand that this love is not dependent upon how submissive or how “good” she is. Jesus showed us this example: “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5: 8.

He should remember also that his role is to emulate Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5: 25-33) by sacrificially loving her, putting his wife’s needs before his own. Of course, the wife should also put her husband’s needs before her own. The people of God are to be selfless.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2: 3.

He may believe that particular sins such as sexual immorality, smoking, drinking, etc. are sins that are worse for a woman to commit than for a man to do the same.

10) He uses the Bible out of context. He weaponizes the Bible to justify unjustifiable behavior.

For example, he is controlling and explains that the husband is the head of the wife, so he has to make sure he and his wife will be pleasing to God by him controlling her.

He has double standards and tries to validate them by twisting the scriptures.

11) He is a hypocrite.

This may seem obvious, but chauvinists or religious imposters in general often have a different set of rules for themselves, but they can be clever in how they go about things.

They often perceive and quote the Bible out of context to justify their obstinacy and hypocrisy.

12) Believes that he is in control, instead of accepting and acknowledging that God is in control.

He does not fear God; he doesn’t submit and obey the word unless it’s convenient for him.

Fails to process that God’s command to him is to love; not to control or force.

Doesn’t accept that his leading should be according to righteous love, righteous example, and humility. He is prideful, and prefers dominance and control.

He claims he knows God is in control, but he doesn’t act like it. He does what he wants, is selfish, and may also rationalize it.

13) He does not listen to his lady.

He is stiff-necked and often shoots down her ideas.

14) He is sexually suggestive or pressuring his lady to sin.

If he pressures and invites his woman to sin sexually or in other ways, this is a big problem. He may even attempt to justify it in some way. Often, in his mind, the rules are different for him.

Asking his woman to sin is a very big red flag or a stop sign. It means he is not concerned enough about pleasing God or protecting her spiritually.

A couple could mess up, be involved sexually before marriage, repent, and end up in a healthy, godly marriage. I am not writing that off. It has happened with Christian couples. The principle, however remains the same- be very, very careful.

If leading his wife into sin is how a potential husband shows leadership, what kind of examples can she expect him to set after marriage when he feels he has her trapped?

15) He behaves as if headship and leadership in general cancel out the golden rule.

Truth is, a leader should set the example in modeling the golden rule; not view their leadership as a ticket out of it.

16) He believes domestic discipline.

He believes that a husband should spank, hit or otherwise discipline and punish his wife.

Need I say more? This practice is not of God. The Bible in no way supports or commands any such thing.

To sum things up, the religious chauvinist/ religious imposter is a hearer of the Word and not doer, in many regards. He lacks the fear of God.

Honestly, there are many “spiritual” perverts that hang out in the churches. Beware of any inappropriate innuendo, lingo, or behaviors. When it comes to religious misogynists, they tend to be charming, sexual perverts, and have objectifying attitudes toward women.

I believe the odds of finding a religious misogynist in particular, are greater in separatist, religious groups than in the average church. What is wrong with being separate? Nothing, if the separation is a separation between good and evil.

In fact, the Bible tells us to be separate. Light has no fellowship with darkness. Believers are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. We should not partner with idols. God’s people are the temple of God. We can find this in 2 Corinthians 6 : 14- 16.

The Bible says, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing;  and  I will receive you.

And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.” – 2 Corinthians 6 :17-18.

Some religious cults identify themselves as independent or “non-denominational.”

First of all, I’m not saying every independent church or non-denominational church is a cult. Of course not. In other cases, some people are separate, but not necessarily separate from evil.

However, if someone is calling you away to be separate with them, and they are preaching another gospel, stay away. There are many different isolated religious sects and groups out there. I have observed that some of these groups are people who consider themselves “Christian elites.”

They separate themselves from other churches and deem themselves the true children of God. They are independent, and off to their own vices. In some of these groups, it is often a one man show. One man leads a group of people, not according to the unadulterated word of God, but according to a perverted gospel rooted in men’s traditions.

Pride is rampant among chauvinists and within religious cults.

It is common for the group to be rejecting of, or defensive about questions someone may have. The religious misogynist is commonly an isolationist, and can often be found in cult-like groups or organizations.

– Cultic groups have a secretive existence. The cultic leader is secretive. The leaders might do street preaching or their definition of evangelism, and encourage their congregants also to find people to bring into their group.

– It is secretive because they have their own traditions, their own way of interpreting the Bible, teaching it and living accordingly, while keeping those who do not agree with them at bay.

– They are firm in their stance that they are accountable to no one but God. They typically are only affiliated with other people in their groups and organizations.

The religious misogynist or religious imposter may be found anywhere else, too. Sometimes, this type of man does not even attend a church. He also may attend a typical mainstream church and not necessarily be in a cult.

A church building can be a dangerous place.

Certainly, there are other types of religious people besides misogynists and religious perverts that should be avoided. They can commonly be found in any kind of church. Any kind of religious imposter should be avoided. It is most important to pray, be armed with discernment and the truth of God’s word to test behavior against.

Don’t hesitate to ask for and utilize the prayers and guidance of other Christians. It is common to have on blinders when in love. Input from neutral parties is valuable.

It can be very helpful to talk to trusted, godly mentors for direction before becoming seriously involved with anyone, or with any group or organization. Some women may be particularly prone to becoming involved in a cult disguised as a church if they are interested in a man who is trying to draw them into it. Sometimes, women become very weak-willed when they are under the influence of a man.

Pray About it.

If a woman prays and God leads her in a particular direction, she should be careful not to let others derail her. It is important to look for a church where the unadulterated word of God is preached. Bible literacy is crucial for spiritual well-being, spiritual growth, and protection.