Are women responsible for how men behave? If you attend certain churches, that is the message being preached. Many people are eating up that message. Do I blame women for men’s behavior? The answer is a resounding no. Yet, some of the ladies are offended. They seem to believe that they are helpless puppets in a dangerous and cruel relationship game.

Some desire false reassurances. Some don’t want to hear that they are in control of their own plights. They don’t seem to appreciate that they should respect themselves and not allow mistreatment from men. You see, women are influencers and enablers. If we are going to influence and enable men, the best way to influence and enable them is in doing what is right.

Men are also not responsible for women’s bad behavior, and definitely should hold women accountable. The good thing about many men is that they seem to have enough self-respect and logic to be pretty intolerant to a woman cheating or disrespecting them.

I don’t blame women for how men behave, but I firmly encourage single women to know their worth, to hold their men accountable to the right standards and to never, ever, settle for less.

Hopefully, women who are already married have made wise, safe choices. I do focus on single women, who still have the opportunity to get it right. Some women don’t want to hear that they should not make idols out of men, or that they are worthy, valuable human beings, independent of their relationships with men.

It seems some would rather be falsely reassured than hear hard facts. There are also women who want to be told that it is okay to use deadly means of “contraception” after they have already conceived.

It is good for women to be proactive in their plights. All I want is for women to live righteously, wisely, safely, and joyfully. Some women believe that I am blaming them, when I am attempting to help them. Yet, I acknowledge that women should hold men accountable.

Ladies should have the right requirements for themselves, and their men. More women need to respect themselves. Some women take this to mean that I am putting the responsibility on them to change men. Or, that I’m putting the responsibility on women for what some men are doing.

I will say it again. Women are not responsible for men's bad behaviors. Women are responsible to not enable and put up with the bad behaviors.

Women are responsible for not disrespecting ourselves by allowing men to disrespect and mistreat us. We are responsible for valuing ourselves, doing what is right, and setting high standards and healthy boundaries. This means also abstaining from sex until marriage as Christians.

Yes, if you abstain from sex, you may very well lose your man, but if that’s the case, that is the kind of man you want to lose! If the majority of women did these things, many more would be in happy, healthy relationships, and even marriages.

We are responsible for disallowing disrespect, abuse, mistreatment of any kind, and not allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of. People can only do to us what we allow them to do. If I was against women, I would tell women to keep allowing themselves to be done wrong. If I was a  “gender traitor” as I have been called, I would enjoy seeing women suffer.

When women do what is right according to God’s righteous precepts and statutes, they will be blessed. I know that not everyone is a follower of Jesus Christ, so I am addressing Christian women. However, it is good for every woman to respect and take care of herself! Even basic, common sense will help guide a woman in taking care of herself.

Boundaries are necessary.

Knowledge should be acquired, high standards and healthy boundaries should be set, so that ladies do not allow themselves to be deceived, used, and abused by the men in their lives. The right standards and boundaries should help women not become single mothers who get abandoned by sperm donors.

It is more important to live a good-quality life as a kingdom woman who refuses to settle for men who don’t measure up, than it is to be in an unhealthy relationship.

As long as women continue to depend on men’s attention and affection for validation, they will continue to settle for less, thus sustaining the deficit of good quality men.

There is a surplus of ungodly and unkind men who do some women much harm. Young girls and women continue to affirm and enable the surplus, because too many of the ladies don’t know their worth. They attach self-worth to having boyfriends or husbands, or even “friends with benefits.”

Some women will just take what they can get. Lots of girls and young women simply don’t have knowledge. They are influenced by peer pressure and culltural trends, listen to messages being sent in vulgar music, or are influenced by fairytales as well.

Remember, there are men who will only do the bare minimum. For many, if you do not require them to behave, they simply will not behave. Requiring them to behave does not mean you take actions to try to make them behave. That is too much work and will be futile. Having requirements men’s having standards.

A woman should/be intolerant to bad behaviors and mistreatment in her relationships. Instead, so many women have put up with it.
This is why we see the ongoing problem of unfaithful, mean-spirited men who can have their pick of quality women, as well as all types of women.

This is why we see some men being able to get away with not committing, because plenty women won’t require more of their men. Even though they may expect their men to treat them right, some women will go back to their men after breaking up with them for cheating or for abuse.

Some will allow their men to stay in the first place, and won’t break up to begin with. Many girls and women try to avoid being single, so they don’t put their feet down and properly require faithfulness, commitment, respect, etc.

Being single is not a curse. I said, being single is not a curse. In many ways, being single is such a blessing, until a woman meets her Mr. Right.

As I often say, it is better to wait for Mr. Right (even if it seems to take forever), than to be with Mr. Right now, who is the wrong person. If only some of the girls or women can believe, receive, and live by this truth. The key to see many of these problems go away is for women to influence men righteously and hold them accountable.

Positive changes will not come if women continue to enable misbehaving men by affirming them in their unrighteousness. Women must stop putting up with nonsense. I know that what we need to hear is tough sometimes. So many girls and women were left without proper knowledge

This is often due to others not equipping them with knowledge, not properly preparing them for the dating world, and for the games and ploys that they would run into.

I’m not out to offend anyone. Instead, I really would love to see women take care of themselves and glorify God in doing so. Sometimes, people who are our enemies tell us what we want to hear. Those who truly care about us tell us what we need to hear, even when we don’t want to hear it. So, ladies, love, respect, and value yourselves.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27: 6.