To sum it up briefly, people feel inferior because others have caused them to feel inferior. Feelings of inferiority are learned. I have felt secondary and less than in my past. This did not come naturally to me, but was based on how others treated me. That is, until I realized the way I was being made to feel was a lie.
From my own experiences and based on what I have observed, there are three primary reasons women feel inferior.
1) Being devalued- This can happen because of general mistreatment of someone. Mistreatment includes, being demeaned, assaulted in various ways, being blamed, discriminated against, objectified, oppressed, etc.
2) Spiritual abuse- Some use their power, fear, intimidation, and false doctrine to bully, deceive, control, and oppress others.
3) Biblical illiteracy- When a woman doesn’t know how God says about her, her feelings of self-worth are based on what people say about her. When one lacks Bible truth and knowledge, they do not detect dangerous lies.
The lies keep people from knowing what God says about them and how He feels about them. The lies work to separate people from God, from His love, truth, light, and aim to destroy them.
Assaults on women’s minds, emotional well being, and bodies go way back to the fall of mankind. The deceiving of women, the blaming of women, the practice of spiritual and emotional abuse against women, the physical assaults on women’s bodies, and the murdering of women- it is a chronic, evil theme.
We can see some incidences of attacks on women beginning early in the Bible. An example of an attack on the woman’s mind is seen when the serpent deceived Eve in the garden of Eden. Genesis 3:1-6. The very first woman fell victim to harmful, deceiving words. Many, many women from generation to generation after her also fall into deceptions of all sorts.
Devaluing a woman creates an illusion of superiority for others.
1. Being devalued
There are many ways to devalue someone. I believe in general, many people are devalued by others and as a result end up feeling devalued.
• Victims of various types of abuse end up feeling devalued, although the reality is that they have not lost any of their worth.
• Sexual assault in particular can cause someone to feel devalued.
In 2 Samuel chapter 13, Amnon, the son of David, and brother of Absalom, lusted after and sexually forced Tamar, his own sister.
Then Amnon (the incestuous rapist) hated his sister exceedingly (verse 15) after he had committed this atrocious sin against her and God!
This tragic, very disturbing and evil incident is yet another case of a man committing evil; violating someone, and shifting the focus of reproach on his innocent victim, instead of confronting himself. Here is a situation where he did something evil and heinous against his sister’s will, and against all moral decency. He felt he wanted her so badly, but after he had sinned so vile and harshly against her, he hated her! Talk about vile, cowardice, deflection and projection.
The disgust he should have felt for himself, he instead deflected it onto her. This is common and typical with some throughout history and in the present. There is a lot of deflection, projection, and blame-shifting, while refusing to take personal responsibility and accountability for their own actions.
Victim shaming and blaming Can Cause someone to feel devalued or worthless.
In the past and present, there has been victim-blaming when it comes to rape. Victim-blaming protects and deflects away from the perpetrator. It aims to criminalize or shift blame onto the victim. For example, the focus typically has been on what a woman should do, where a woman should be, at a particular time, to ensure she is not assaulted. Especially in the past, but also currently, in some places around the world, not enough attention is focused on the perpetrator and their own culpability.
• In addition, it is common for women to date or marry, only to end up in situations where they are demeaned, suffering from verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, and sexual objectification. This results in low self-esteem and self-loathing for many women.
• The blame game itself is also an attack against women. The first case I notice of blame-shifting tendencies is after Adam fell.
Eve straight-up told truth directly that she was deceived by the serpent and partook of the fruit. When Adam was questioned, he didn’t respond directly of his responsibility for what he knowingly did. He was not deceived. He sinned wilfully. Instead of acknowledging this, he said that it was the woman, whom God gave to him- she was the one who gave him of the fruit, which he ate.
To this day, I notice rampant blame-shifting and dodging of accountability among some men. This usually includes flat-out denials of truth as well.
• Being cruel and unloving is also an attack on women’s well-being.
Feeling devalued can also be the result of feeling unloved
• Some spouses are unkind to each other, and this is wrong. Some wives are unfortunately very disrespectful and mean-spirited to their husbands. Some men have been harsh with their wives, and putting them away since early on. Due to the hardness of their heart, Moses permitted the men to put their wives away (Deuteronomy 24).
• God allowed men’s harsh behaviors, but this doesn’t mean they were doing His perfect will. There is much evil that goes on. It is allowed, but it does not mean that God is condoning it. Some men long ago were dealing treacherously with their wives, putting them away. Malachi 2: 14:16; Matthew 19: 8 -10.
• To this day, it is not uncommon for religious men to still be harsh with their wives, and very stubborn, not obeying God. The Bible commands, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3: 19. God understands the tendency for some to be harsh, and instructs wives on how to deal with such men in 1 Peter 3: 1-6
2. Spiritual Abuse
This is a big one that has affected many women and others in the church. There are false teachers who misuse the word of God to falsely represent God and His character. They exalt themselves, blame women, falsely accuse women, oppress women, and deflect attention away from the debauchery of some men. I wrote a bit about my spiritual abuse here.
False teachers are common (2 Peter 2: 18-22). Many spiritually abusive teachers exalt themselves, while misusing the Bible to denigrate or control women and others. Destructive heresies are taught (Peter 2: 1).
Spiritual abuse causes some women to feel inferior, but some women accept it. Sadly, many women have been indoctrinated and believe it is truth that is being taught about them. There have been all kinds of attacks on women throughout history and in the present.
Many of these attacks come from the men in their lives. The irony is that men are supposed to be righteous leaders and protect those under their leadership. We can see why satan, who does not want the will of God to be done, instigates such abuse.
In some churches and cults, in both subtle and not so subtle ways, some men teach women that they are inferior.
Some women feel inferior, because they were taught by men to feel inferior about themselves. For example, I never felt badly about myself until people started planting terrible ideas in my head by saying harmful things to me about the female gender. I have written previously on how women seem to be very vulnerable to words, particularly words spoken by men. Some women’s minds can be fertile ground for many things spoken, whether they be true or false.
Abusers know and understand this, and they are able to control and oppress women by many things that they say, and also by things that they do. When women respond to abuse with feminism, both men and women tend to overlook the initiating factor, which is prior abuse and demeaning of women. They blame feminism for the world’s problems.
Abuse against women has led to an extreme response.
In response, some women have wrongfully begun to view women as goddesses. Some women have developed a narcissistic type of love for themselves. They have gone too far and are un-acknowledging of the different God-given roles for men and women. Some have become radical feminists.
There are women who have become controllers. While this is wrong, and extreme feminism is also wrong, many people focus on the women’s reaction to abuse and gender bias. Feminism is in the spotlight moreso than acknowledging and dealing with the original sources that triggered feminism, which include misogyny, abuse, and oppression.
Very commonly, some women and especially some men, are complaining about feminism and blaming the world’s problems on it.
Spiritual abusers love to only talk about feminism. When feminism became extreme, and a problem, people jumped to focus on feminism, without acknowledging chauvinism and misogyny.
We see a pattern of deflecting and blaming of women throughout history.
I am convinced that the contempt and evil spirits behind the spiritual abuse, mental abuse, and emotional abuse against women are also behind the physical assault, abuse, and murder of women.
The spirit of hate and enmity resides in those who abuse women in any fashion. There are hypocrites in churches who masquerade as godly men. Some have hatred in their hearts and contempt against women.
Remember, these men tend to be very particular about their public image and status. It would be too obvious that they are not the “good” guys and are not true ministers of righteousness, if they attack women physically.
Rather than risk physical assault, sexual assault, or murder of women (which can be observed by others and tarnish their public reputation), spiritual and emotional abusers exercise their contempt of women and others by teaching false, abusive, denigrating doctrine, and by slandering and being harsh toward their wives and women in general.
The reality is, these types likely have just as much hatred in their hearts as the physical abusers, rapists or murderers do. As a young girl, I never felt bad about who I was until some men started saying things about girls and women that caused me to feel bad. It was as if they needed for me to feel bad about who I am, so that they could feel good about who they are!
3) Biblical illiteracy
Certainly, if one does not know the truth, they do not recognize a lie. This is pretty self-explanatory when it comes to why some women are able to be spiritually abused and end up feeling inferior. The word of God is twisted, used out of context, cherry-picked and used as a weapon against women sometimes. Without women having Bible knowledge and help from the Holy Spirit to understand, they become very easy targets.
It is absolutely crucial to know the truth of God’s word, and to live accordingly, while holding others accountable to the truth. It would be very helpful if every woman examined the scriptures and prayed for understanding. Like the Bereans, the scriptures should be studied to see if what someone is saying is in alignment with what God says. “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” -Acts 17:11.
The reasons behind abuse are indeed demonic. Certainly, obviously, and thankfully, PLENTY men are not abusers! Praise God.
By living in truth, women can wisely and safely determine the company they should be keeping, the man they should be marrying, and the church they should be attending. It is up to women to live in truth and awareness, and to set the right standards and boundaries for others as well.
God is pleased when both men and women turn from wicked ways, and love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, as well as loving our neighbors as ourselves. If all people obeyed the two greatest commandments, these sinful issues would not even exist.
“He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” Luke 10: 26- 27.
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