Everyone has ego. Yet, sadly, past and present trauma can lead to insecurity, personality changes, personality disorders, and distorted realities for some people. Everyone will go through something unpleasant. Plenty people have already been through many things.

While this is a tragedy, there are people who forgive, seek help, and get the healing they need. This could be a long process, but significant healing is able to take place for those who desire it. Some other people avoid getting the real help they need. They often live their lives operating from their pain, hurting other people.

In particular, some boys are conditioned to not express their emotions, feelings, and needs in a healthy way for resolution. A poor guy in this case usually copes the best way he knows how-often, with unhealthy  attempts of self-preservation, and with anger and addictions. Many have suffered various types of trauma, but do not have healthy expression, healthy release of negative emotions, and real healing.

This can lead to them resorting to various kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms throughout their lives. Sometimes, the unhealed person becomes callous, self-centered, and ego-driven in their pursuits.

A fragile ego often becomes the biggest driver of their thought processes and behaviors. Fragile ego can block the ability to authentically love people as well.

An egotistical person tends to be a selfish and insecure person. Only God can judge the heart, but we can observe and rightfully judge actions.

What seems to matter most to many unhealed men with over-inflated egos is stroking their egos. These men are common. A man like this typically has an ego that is enormous and incredibly fragile. It seems he must at all times protect it and keep it over-inflated. The over-inflated ego is much more fragile than the average ego. Like a balloon with too much air in it, it takes very little pressure for it to shatter. Some women also have big, fragile egos.

However, in this post, I have some warnings for the ladies who deal with these types of men. There are often dangers when becoming involved with this kind of man. I am not bashing men with fragile egos. I am giving warnings about them, based on my own observations and experiences. Some young girls and ladies don’t know what they are getting into when becoming involved with these kind of men.

Some women are commonly captivated with the charm, smooth words, achievements, and sometimes good looks of such individuals. May I state the obvious? I am not describing all men or all people. I am talking about specific men who should be identified by women who desire healthy, God-glorifying relationships and marriages.

No one is perfect. No one is a hopeless case. I am not saying people with inflated, fragile egos are bad people. However, it’s good to be aware of such individuals, to know what to expect, and know how to safely deal with them.

Characteristics of a man who is driven by his ego, moreso than operating out of love:

• Authenticity is likely a foreign concept to him. What he does, says, and thinks is often fueled by his frail ego.

• He may have a god complex. This complex is often found in religious men, but also can be found in non-religious, narcissistic men and women.

• Often, he has something to prove, in order to keep up praise-worthy appearances before others.

• He behaves as if he cares more about his ego strokes than just about anyone or anything else.

• Typically, he will cheat on his wife or lady, but may claim to love her. Sex, especially with a variety of women strokes his ego.

• His lust and ego are bigger than his “love” for his wife or lady.

• If his woman breaks up with him for anything, he may beg to have her back, and then get back with her, only so he can break up with her, or do other malicious things to her to regain a sense of control.

• As an egomaniac, one of the main ways he gets his accolades is through taking women to bed. He likely will never be satisfied being loyal to his wife or partner.

• He is an insecure, hurt, broken, and lost person who has not received healing.

• He uses his lady (or ladies) to self-medicate. Women are one of the main targets for his pain.

• He is touchy and feels disrespected and offended for little or no reason.

• Typically, he will not pursue real healing. Instead, he distracts himself from his problems.

• He tends to keep himself distracted from his pain through various accomplishments, materialism, womanizing, and other addictions.

• He is usually cocky and a bragger, so he may fool some into believing that he is very confident. Many women love confidence in a man, but some cannot tell the difference between confidence and cocky insecurity.

• Depending on how much his ego has been bruised or how insecure and disrespected he feels, he could become dangerous.

Pray for him? Good idea. However, it is a good idea to stay away from the egotistical, bad boy- if one desires a healthy relationship. The humble, faithful gentleman is a wiser, much safer, and more enjoyable option.

Bible Reference:

“Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.

 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her.

She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee.

Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many.”

Proverbs 4: 5-10.