In this post, I am going to address un-wed potential mothers. I care a lot about the plights of women. I desire to see women make the best, most wise and enjoyable decisions. Also, this post is not about married men who rightfully desire children with their wives.

Some men desire to have children for the right reasons, and under the right circumstances. They provide wonderfully for their family, which is great. There are also men who are not married, who take really good care of their children. I am not describing these men in this post.

Are you a woman who is thinking of starting a family with your boyfriend? Do you hope that having children with your boyfriend will bring the two of you closer together?

Marriage is very serious and ordained by God.

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2: 23-24.

Marriage is meant to be permanent (Mark 10: 6-12).

• Is marriage “only a piece of paper” to you?

• Do you believe that living as a family, while being unmarried is a good idea?

Having a family is desireable for many. Family is very important. Some people want to meet that special person, get married, and have children. There are other people who don’t care whether or not they have children before or after marriage.

They may not prefer to have children before marriage, but they don’t necessarily prevent pregnancies. Some women are marriage-minded and desire families, but will settle for having children outside of marriage.

While people have freedom to do as they please, I understand that it is best to have children within the confines of healthy marriages. Marriage is a covenant that is between a husband, his wife, and God. Marriage is not simply a silly piece of paper.

Some people say, “What if the marriage doesn’t work out?” Unfortunately, some marriages don’t work out, but still, the best situation for a child to be born in is in a secure environment, under the loving care of his or her married parents. Parenting is not a one-man show.

Not everyone is a Christian, but for those who are Christians, it is true that people who are not married should not be involved in any sexual activity.

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 

1 Corinthians 6: 18-20.

A good start for the Christian is to be obedient to God in all things. Doing things His way is the only way that works. Getting married is far better than burning with passion or burning in hell (1 Corinthians 7: 9). There is no wrongful judgment being passed here. Humans are frail. Humans mess up. Some commit fornication. Thankfully, we can confess to God and repent of our sins (1 John 1: 9).

Plenty young ladies are giddy, aroused, influenced by fairy tales and romance novels. Many are ill-informed about men and dating.

Some have been tricked by smooth, slick words and sappy talk from their partners about love and family.

Other ladies are simply careless. They let their guards down and become pregnant, only to often be abandoned later.

If only young girls and women were taught better about The Game.

It is important for women to be aware of tricks and traps before they get into trouble. However, they are often not informed with sufficient knowledge about The Game, including the many ploys that will likely be used against them to get them into bed, possibly impregnate them and then abandon them.

Lots of young girls and women have few clues as to what they are getting into when they start dating. They also commonly lack knowledge of their own worth. When a woman knows her worth, this helps her to not settle for less.

Things are changing, but it used to be that many girls and women were looking for love. They desired monogamous partners for the long haul. Instead, many ended up with smooth-talking players and Slick Ricks. They were cheated on, otherwise mistreated, and became unwed, often single mothers.

Some women play their own games.

Sometimes, girls are taught not to have sex. Yet, they are not equipped with the head knowledge needed to outsmart the player’s game. Along with instructing daughters morally, their fathers could be, and should be, equipping them with head knowledge about the game.

In other situations, there are ladies playing their own games. They go for guys with money, wanting to get pregnant by them so that they can collect child support. Other ladies are cheating or just getting around. They don’t know who the fathers of their children are. Regardless, they want to pin fatherhood on one of multiple possibilities.

Some women use manipulative tactics to get pregnant, unknown to their partners. Others will get their pregnancies terminated with or without their partner’s agreement. These are all bad and ugly situations to avoid.

Here are 5 possible reasons a man desires to get his woman pregnant outside of marriage:

1. Perhaps, he simply wants children, but is not willing to wait for marriage, because:

a) He doesn’t want to marry his lady at all- ever.

b) It could be that he doesn’t want to marry her yet, but wants a child ASAP, anyway.

2. The goal is to impregnate her, to tie her to himself. Impregnating her is like him marking his territory.

3. Controlling her future. He wants to potentially control her odds of being with anyone else by impregnating her. He may believe he is decreasing her dating options by getting her pregnant. Some wrongfully view single mothers as generally being a turn off to most if not all single men.

4. He may want to get her pregnant to manipulate her into staying with him if he is concerned she may leave him. Some women say they stay for the sake of the child or children. In other words, one motive in getting a woman pregnant is entrapment.

5. The fifth reason is not necessarily because he is trying to get her pregnant. It is why pregnancy happens sometimes. He (and she) are carefree, not being responsible in preventing pregnancy. He may not mind getting her pregnant. He wasn’t necessarily trying to get her pregnant, but he also wasn’t trying to prevent it.

The possible reasons he could be trying to get a woman pregnant are the same reasons it shouldn’t be allowed. Ladies, please guard yourselves. Protect yourselves.

It is not only up to the man to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It is not only up to the woman. Both people have that responsibility. Prevention is key. With all of the stressed out single mothers, baby parent drama, and cruel pregnancy terminations, I pray and hope that ladies begin to take better care to prevent pregnancies.

Knowledge is Power.

Again, I understand that many girls and young women are ill-informed. For this reason, many women end up in unhealthy relationships and as single mothers. Commonly, the woman gets pregnant, and the man often goes on about his business.

Many single mothers and single fathers do wonderful jobs. I applaud them. I thank God that they are empowered to be single parents who successfully raise their children under such circumstances.

However, these situations are not the most ideal. They are also optional. In the “free” (western) world, the woman’s plight is in her hands, and determined by her personal choices. This is why foreknowledge is crucial, in order for her to make wise and right decisions.

More incentive to avoid unwanted pregnancies, including pregnancies outside of marriage:

• It is easy for him to impregnate her. He just passes the buck to her.

• Some women do not even truly enjoy the process of getting pregnant.

• The woman is stuck with the pregnancy, giving birth, and with all that it entails.

• She often is stuck with all or most of the child-rearing.

• He may have visitation certain days, every weekend, or every other weekend where he gets to do fun stuff with his child or his children. For example, maybe he picks them up for a few hours, takes them to the ball game, out to eat, to the movies, skating, etc.

• Many women are cheated on during pregnancies, and after they give birth while they are healing, or at any other time in their relationships.

• Some women are abandoned after they have been impregnated or after they have given birth.

• Often, there are nasty court battles for custody and child support.

• Quite a few women struggle financially, emotionally, and physically as single mothers.

Do not be led astray by passions.

I know some women are looking for love. Many women have been looking for connection and a sense of purpose through their relationships. Plenty have not prevented undesired pregnancies. Some thought that having babies would improve their relationships or lead to marriage.

Often, others do not effectively help girls build their self-esteem and give them the knowledge they need to avoid these problematic situations. For unmarried women, prevention of pregnancy is the best route to go.

It is important not to allow a ticking biological clock to control desires and actions. Don’t be slick-talked into getting pregnant outside of marriage. Do not be slick-talked into marrying the wrong person.

Feelings should not be allowed to lead ladies astray. It is important to be very careful to guard our hearts and bodies, and to preserve the precious lives of the innocent unborn.