Every good leader is a follower, except when the leader is God. God does not have to follow anyone, because He is the supreme leader who cannot fail. He is perfect, holy, good and all-knowing.

Even in the godhead, Jesus submits himself to Father God. Likewise, God has ordained order in His design among animals as well as among people. The chief leader is God, though others should lead under the leadership of God.

Most women I know want good men who are leaders. Leader does not mean controller. Leader does not mean abuser or dominator. A leader takes responsibility, takes initiative in right examples and is a responsible servant.

In the context of Christianity, God’s design for the home is that husbands are heads of wives. They are responsible leaders who love, cherish, sacrifice for their wives, emulating Jesus Christ.

In the word of God, it commands husbands to love their wives, even as Christ loved the church. So, can husbands properly lead without actually doing as God has commanded them, following His directives? No.

The way husbands are to lead is by love. Sacrificial, Christ-like love, being righteous examples is the way. Unfortunately, there has been misuse and abuse of this dynamic of leadership.

Women can take initiative also. Often, there is agreement between husbands and wives in delegation of responsibilities. The wife may excel in doing one task better than the man and the man-made excel in doing other tasks better.

They are able to come to agreement and and delegate accordingly. For Christian women who want to live according to God’s design, it is paramount that they marry men who are submitted to Christ.

If men will not follow Christ, they cannot properly lead. Again, leadership is not controlling and dominating others. Real leadership is not selfish and abusive.

Leadership is service. It is very important for Christians to know the word of God for themselves and to rely on the Holy Spirit for proper understanding. Then we know truth from lies.

We can understand in context God’s beautiful design, purposes and plans to the best of our abilities. Remember ladies, if a man cannot follow, he cannot lead.

Every teacher has to be a student first. Then, students who have properly learned and become qualified can become teachers. Wives and husbands learn from each other also. In order to properly serve others through leadership, there must be a blueprint, a guide to go by. God’s word is the guide for Christians to go by.

Helpful Scriptures:

There is no place for abuse or mistreatment in God’s design:

“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” Ephesians 5: 28-29 NKJV

We are all to please God by having others- oriented, humble attitudes and behaviors. Submitting one to another in the fear of God:

“…giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,  submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5: 20-21 NKJV.

Wives are to submit to husbands:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5: 22-24 NKJV.

True leaders are humble servants, serving others; not controlling, dominating and mistreating others, but operating out of love and humility.

“But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. 

Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—  just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20: 26-28 NKJV.