Hearing wedding bells? It is a no-brainer, right? How can you marry someone you don’t trust? The truth is, some women seem to come under some kind of spell when in love with their men.

They are not able to think clearly. In these situations, a woman may take a big gamble. Sometimes, she enters into a situation or marriage that she actually knows better than to enter into.

Sometimes, a woman becomes careless and doesn’t plan safely the type of man she will marry. Imagine trying to submit to someone that you cannot trust! My trust must first be in God before and after marrying my husband.

Secondly, a man must prove himself trustworthy to me before I will marry him. A woman needs to know that she’s coming into a safe place when marrying a man.

I talk about men’s roles according to God’s plan. For years, I heard about certain men’s plans for marriage, headship, and submission.

Some people’s plans for marriage and God’s plan for marriage are often two very different things. Previously, I was not told the full truth about a man’s role, and about headship and submission, according to the word of God.

From some religious people, I mainly heard women being berated about submitting to husbands over and over. Meanwhile, emphasizing a husband’s role to love, protect, and cherish was neglected. I want to help women that could be in the same predicament I was in. For women who don’t have the truth and for everyone else, it is extremely important to know the whole counsel of God.

Girls and women have often been left without proper instruction to guide them when it comes to relationships and marriages.

Some preachers teach half truths and outright falsehoods. Often, this has contributed to some women being ill-informed. They end up not having much of a clue about what they are getting into when entering relationships.

This can lead them to make a bad decision when they marry. Some women are left out of the loop when it comes to being equipped with knowledge to make a wise choice for marriage.

Many women feel they must measure up to the expectations of others.

There is commonly pressure from family, friends, the churches, cults, or society that pressures women to get married. Yet, it is more important that a woman marries right, than for her to marry right now.

Often, there is not enough focus on helping women to make safe, wise decisions in the men they choose to be with. As an individual, each person is accountable for themselves.

A husband is responsible for himself, his wife, and family. A woman is responsible for her own obedience to God. She cannot force anyone else, including her husband to obey God.

It is of great importance to have Bible knowledge. This knowledge should be applied in taking proactive measures before and after marriage. For this reason, I share Bible truth about women’s roles, but men’s roles as well.

Many of the things that I point out are facts I did not learn until I studied the word of God for myself. Thankfully, I did not get married while I was being misled about God’s will for men, women, and marriage.

The truth is available to all in the Word of God. Having Bible knowledge and life experiences will help a woman navigate safely through life.

People must check the word of God for truth, as the Bereans did in Acts 17: 11:

“These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”

I should apply wisdom and biblical knowledge to choose wisely before I marry. If I marry a man who disobeys God, God’s requirements for me still stand (1 Peter 3: 1-6). It is important to remember that we do not submit to our husbands because they love us and treats us well.

As Christian women, if we marry a man who is not loving, so long as we are not sinning, we still must submit to Him, according to the word of God. This means we have a respectful, gentle, cooperative nature, and are willing to suffer.

Our love and devotion to God will help us to obey God. This is even when it makes us uncomfortable, and even when we are suffering. It is all about pleasing God and having His character.

Jesus set the example before us. Both godly men and godly women ought to be willing to suffer also.

“Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.”  1 Peter 4: 1-2.

Willing to suffer does not mean a woman allows herself to get beat on or worse by her husband. There are dangerous situations where women should remove themselves and their children from those situations.

I’m simply referring to the fact that sometimes, people do us wrong. By the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we can follow Jesus Christ’s example. We should love regardless of someone else’s performance. Again, there are situations where a woman should remove herself and their children for the sake of safety.

During the course of a relationship, a man’s actions over time proves whether he can be trusted or not. Some men do not prove themselves trustworthy. A woman may not feel safe with her man or feel confident he truly cares about her. She may not see proof that he has put God first, while having her best interests in mind.

Jesus initiated and showed the church that He is love, He is righteous, and He can be trusted.

Contrary to the untrustworthy man, when I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior, I trusted Him. Why was I able to trust Jesus? I understood that I am a sinner and that He loved me so much that He died for me, to pay the penalty for my sins. He loved me and did not hurt me.

He, who is holy and without sin, died a cruel death, riddled with mocking, torture, unimaginable pain, and shame. He did it for me and you. He loved us this significantly. He did this, even though I was in sin, and did not yet love Him. He did this before I submitted to him.

There is no greater love. Therefore, I understood that I could trust Jesus Christ, and knew I was safe submitting to Him. I desire to please Him and to allow Him to provide for and protect me.

Remember, the relationship between a husband and a wife is to reflect the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5: 22- 33).

I believe it is impossible, or at least extremely difficult to submit to a husband you cannot trust.

This is why it is mind-boggling to me that in a case where a woman is not feeling that a man is trustworthy, she decides to marry him anyway. I do believe this is largely because some women’s feelings of worthiness tend to stem from being in a relationship or married.

In particular, women have been conditioned to find personal validation in their relationships with men. Many women also feel defined in getting married and having children. Some women may feel it is worth the risk to marry a man who has proven that he cannot be trusted. Red flags and alarm bells are ignored in these cases.

I share God’s truth in compliance to Titus 2: 3-5. The Titus 2: 3-5 woman needs to understand before marriage that her husband should be an Ephesians 5: 25-33 man.

Being a helpmeet includes holding a potential husband accountable to God’s righteous precepts and statutes. This is why unmarried women are a major concern of mine. I want to speak Bible truth to them that others may withhold from them. I hate to see more Christian women go into ungodly and unhealthy marriages because of a wrong understanding of God’s design.

After marriage, the focus for myself as a wife should be more on 1 Peter 3: 1-6, than on focusing on what my husband is supposed to be doing. Girls and women have been neglected, in being equipped with the necessary knowledge to avoid traps.

Marriage should glorify God. If not, why even get married? I want to be pleasing to God no matter what, and do His will. In the end, I would love to hear Him to say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”