Are the best men for relationships tall, dark and handsome with bulging muscles, good game, and popular with the ladies? How about shorter, blond, light eyes, lots of money and charm?

While those characteristics are not necessarily wrong, they are superficial traits. They fall under the category of preferences; not standards. Moral standards are far more important than personal preferences.

I have learned to be much more concerned about a man’s character than superficial traits such as his looks. I do however, have some personal preferences…like anyone else, right? Before I really came to know God and thoroughly studied His word, I heard teachings that left out important characteristics about God’s requirements for men.

It is common to hear a lot about how women should be, in order to please their husbands. It is equally important for a woman to know God’s requirements for her husband before she gets married.

Society, puts certain expectations on men. Consequently, boys tend to be conditioned a certain way, and this shapes their masculinity.  Masculinity, when examined according to God’s word, is very, very different than societal expectations and men’s tradition. It is not only the woman who is to obey God in marriage and overall. God requires men to emulate Jesus Christ as well. He calls men to be leaders in doing what is right.

Based on examples Jesus Christ set, and based on God’s commandments, here is a list of traits that describe a God-fearing man:

• He loves God above all, with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength; he loves people as he loves himself. Luke 10: 27.

• He is God-fearing; if he fears God, he will depart from evil, be faithful to God, be faithful to his wife, and to others. Proverbs 16: 6.

• He loves his wife as himself and puts her needs above his own. Ephesians 5: 21; 25-33; Phillipians 2: 3.

• He is humble. James 4: 6.

• He is honest. Proverbs 12: 22.

• He is selfless. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.

• He is a provider. 1 Timothy 5: 8.

• He has a gentle temperament- not soon to anger, is good at keeping calm. Proverbs 16: 32. He doesn’t hold onto anger. Titus, 2: 2. Ephesians 4: 26.

• He is ambitious, a go-getter as much as necessary.

• He takes initiative in getting necessary things done.

• He understands the importance of holiness and peace and pursues them. Hebrews 12: 14 (A holy life means also abstaining from sexual immorality). He is a holy influence to his woman; he doesn’t influence her to be ungodly.

• He takes full responsibility and ownership; doesn’t deflect and blame his woman/wife or others.

• He accepts and does not resist accountability; he apologizes when necessary, and initiates reconciliation.

Seek Biblical and practical knowledge and understanding in your preparation before marriage.

It is very risky for a woman to go into marriage ill-equipped with the knowledge she needs to determine whether she should marry a man or not. Too many girls and women are left hanging and have not been given the knowledge they need. Sometimes, parents and other mentors have not prepared girls or women to wisely and safely choose their man later in life.

It goes without saying that no one is perfect. The most sincere Christians are a work in progress. However, this means that Christians are visibly improving; not remaining stagnant or regressing.

Christians ideally will be becoming more and more Christ-like. When we mess up, we should confess, truly repent, and be humble enough to sincerely apologize to others that we have offended. When it comes to what I desire in a man, I understand that it should always be holy standards over personal preferences.