Many women seem to have gotten into the habit of comparing themselves to and competing with men. On one hand, women want to be celebrated and acknowledged as equally valuable and equally important as men, rightfully so. That’s not all, though.

Because of oppression, discrimination double standards, and for other reasons, some women are responding in the wrong ways. A lot of this is due to these women’s own sinful natures. For some women, being equal with men means copying even the bad behaviors of men, saying, “If he can do it, I can do it.” But why can these men do it?

For example, for every man practicing sins with women, obviously, he has a woman (or women) practicing with him.

This means women have a say and sway in the matter. Women greatly influence men’s behaviors. How? By enabling, reinforcing, participating with and rewarding those men’s behaviors. Women are NOT responsible for men’s behaviors.

Yet, women influence men’s behaviors. Some men are emotionally unavailable, emotionally disconnected and just play the game. They play with women. They womanize, protecting their hearts while liberally having sex with various women, dogging many.

One way women will continue to lose is by living a promiscuous lifestyle like these men. The men lose too; many just don’t realize it at first.

I’m not wrongfully judging anyone, but just stating facts. I’m caring and sharing; pushing truth in a world that increasingly suppresses the truth. I am highlighting problems that I see and hoping and praying for solutions. I am a Christian, so I know that according to God’s word, it is wrong for me to be involved in fornication. The truth of God’s word transcends time. In 2023, many people do not believe in God or live according to His word. Yet, His word remains the truth.

Regardless of anyone’s morals or belief systems, I hate to see people caught up in lifestyles that result in poor quality livng. Unwanted pregnancies, stds, drama and betrayals are not fun. Even among people who are not Christians, common sense should tell women they will not win by hopping from man to man, exposing themselves to various infections, diseases and heartbreak.

Women were designed by God with great tendencies for bonding, nurturing, caring and loving. God is not confusion and would not wire boys and men to be incapable of love, only to pair them up with women. However, something happened at some point where many boys have been conditioned by social norms and their negative experiences to be emotionally unavailable and to pursue primarily money, sex, praise and respect.

None of these pursuits ensures that men will be equipped to have loyal, healthy relationships with women. Being monogamous certainly has not been a priority among many. There are women who are not nurturing or loving also-often, because of their own negative experiences. Eventually, some women have become a lot more cold, dismissive, unloving, unnurturing, in similar fashion.

As if this isn’t bad enough, many women are haphazardly hooking up with sexual partners, and terminating the lives of their precious, innocent ones inside their bodies. Sometimes, after giving birth, they end their children’s lives after spending some months or years with them first.

To say that this is tragic and evil is an understatement. And yet, this is where many women find themselves nowadays. A better way to deal with unwanted pregnancies, stds, and above all, in order to do what is right, women must simply be the gatekeepers of their own bodies.

God intended for sex to be between a husband and wife.

This means they are to get married first, before they have sex. If they don’t want children at a particular time or at all, they would need to take proper precautions to prevent pregnancies. A healthy marriage includes husbands and wives being faithful/loyal to each other.

However, so many people have gone their own ways and are doing their own things. They are non-compliant to God’s holy and loving design. Yet, they wonder why their lives seem disastrous?

It is not too late for men and women to turn around and align themselves according to the will of God. This means repentance.

Yes, we all make mistakes, but we do not have to live in shame and condemnation because of this. Instead, we should feel convicted because of any shameful behaviors on our parts. We are required by God to turn from evil and do what is right. We can change our ways and move forward from there. I have had to make many changes and am still a work in progress, by the grace of God.

Yes, many men are players, but they are also victims of the toxic culture that influences them. Some have been hurt by a woman. Plenty don’t heal or forgive. Many did not have proper instructions and demonstrations on how to value and respect women coming from their own mothers, fathers or other positive male mentors. Many have participated in and been encouraged by locker room talks.

Plenty boys did not feel affirmed growing up and did not learn proper coping skills. Abuse and neglect are common problems in people’s childhoods. In some situations, boys have been taught that they should be okay, regardless, because they are men and aren’t to show any signs of weakness. Many do not reach out for help when they need help. Often, women are the recipients of these men’s toxic behaviors that result from their underlying, unresolved issues.

The same goes for young women in that many lack knowledge, come out of unhealthy home situations, have unhealthy relationships with their fathers, low self-esteem and are influenced by the toxic culture. Plenty women victimize men as well.

A primary way women win in their relationships is by righteously influencing their men. To do things God’s way means honoring God first, keeping His commandments.

There is nothing honorable or brag-worthy about it for a woman to compete with a man sexually. Women have already been given God-given sexual power in that the dynamics that God set up are male pursuit, female response.

The burden of proof and performance is on the males, even in the animal kingdom, to prove themselves worthy before they are  allowed by females to mate with them. Certainly, it’s not only men that should measure up though. Men are wise to go for women of integrity also, so the women would need to measure up too.

Female animals seem to have a better understanding and better apply being selective than some ladies do. How much more should a woman be selective than the female animals?

Likewise, according to God’s design, a man must pursue a woman, woo and win her over and marry her, according to the will of God, before he is able to have access to her body for procreation and enjoyment for both himself and his wife.

Sex is a good thing! God created it to be so.

The problem is when it is done outside of God’s design and boundaries. The problem is when it involves abuse, force,  objectification, cheating etc. God created sex good. The adversary, who is the devil, distorts, perverts, and corrupts the good things that God creates.

Sex should not be simply a matter of lust, objectification and self-seeking, but a matter of desire, rooted in attraction and love, uniting as one flesh in a giving manner. Not done in a taking, selfish manner.

Some men have been taught through various influences that sex is something that they do TO a woman and not WITH her. Some have a violent / aggressive perspective about sex. Pornography pushes this narrative. There is always this underlying power objective in these ideologies and portrayals. Some women subject themselves to such treatment and objectification.

There are men who have been conditioned to believe that sex is something that they get from women. Some see having sex as “conquering” a woman. Yet, this is false. It is supposed to be the two united in marriage, desiring each other and giving themselves to each other. There should be mutual consent, mutual enjoyment, mutual satisfaction, and respect.

This is the way God set it up. I like God’s plan. No, I love God’s plan. Don’t you? This is how women can win in their relationships and in life, is by doing things God’s way. It’s also how men can win. Doing things God’s way means that everybody who chooses to do things His way wins.

Related Scriptures:

“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” -Galatians 5: 19-21.

“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”  -1 Corinthians 7: 1-2.

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13: 34-35.

Notice, this implies that the man is in the role of pursuer:

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” -Proverbs 18:22