In this post, I address what has resulted from the fact that many women don’t know their worth or the influence that they have on men’s behavior. This simply kind advice. I don’t dictate to women what to do, but seek to encourage women to take back what is rightfully theirs. Many women have given up their power, freedom, and peace by not holding men accountable and because they don’t know their worth.

The current predicament of there being many lying, cheating, and lousy men is a result of women not requiring men to do better.

Are women somehow responsible for men’s behavior? No. However, women are responsible for how they allow themselves to be treated. Due to low self-worth, lack of self-respect, and idolatry of men, many women have given up being a good influence.

One thing about it, a woman is going to be a helper to a man, one way or another; whether she is his helper for righteousness or for evil. Women are enablers, whether they are enabling the good or the bad in their men.

Although people are responsible as individuals for their own actions, there is no good reason for one person to affirm wrong behavior in another. A major, long-term problem with many women has been the fact that women have co-signed bad behavior in men. I believe that some of the reasons for it are due to the fact that women have been conditioned to put up with bad behavior in men.

Early on, women are conditioned to expect less of men. This conditioning begins in childhood.

Often, boys misbehaving has been viewed with a “boys will be boys” mentality, and boys typically have been given more free reign to act up, beginning in childhood. Girls have been moreso under lock and key when being raised, and generally held to higher standards.

As a result of this and natural wiring, girls tend to be a lot more trained and equipped for relationships than boys. For whatever reason, it seems that training boys to have healthy relationships has not been priority for some fathers. It is hard to find a good man, largely because some women have not and continue to not require men to behave.

No, it is not because women are supposed to change men. Only God can change someone. A man can change when and if he wants to. The issue is women tolerating bad behavior. Women’s tolerance of men’s bad behavior has perpetuated the problem of men misbehaving.

Facts:

– Loneliness and believing men validate them causes some women to have low standards and to tolerate too much in their relationships.

– By putting up with men’s mistreatment for so long, women have been rewarding men and playing a significant role in the shortage of decent men that exist.

– People want the easy way out. Why would these men behave, when no matter how they act and no matter how they treat women, many women reward them? They are sleeping with them. Women are dating them, marrying them, chasing after them, putting up with them, tolerating abuse, and even giving them money.

– Being conditioned to believe that her worth is defined by her relationship with a man causes a woman to be too tolerant of mistreatment.

– Hearing “boys will be boys” out of context over and over can also cause a girl or a woman to have low standards for her man. Even professing Christian women have gotten caught up in this.

In many ways, our society has not held boys or men accountable. Because of unfair social “norms” and double standards, many girls and women expect less of men than they should.

Christian women should have high standards for themselves. They should also require more of their men before marriage. If the reasonable, holy standards are not met, the marriage shouldn’t happen.

This way, broken, dysfunctional families would not be so common. Perhaps, divorce rates wouldn’t be so high. There could have been major change by now if all women held men to proper requirements, based on God’s standards.

Most men are predisposed and wired to pursue women. Had each woman refused to accept a man unless he behaved himself, men would have had no choice, but to do what is right.

The men would either have to do what is right, or go without a woman. I believe most would not choose the latter! My point here is that had women been requiring better of men all along, men would be doing better.

Men are responsible for their own behavior. However, women’s requirements for men, or lack thereof, directly influences surplus or deficit of decent men.

Some women enable only the good in men:

•  Wherever you find a godly man, most likely you will often find that he has the support, prayers, and is being held accountable by his woman or other women close to him. This includes the praying wife or mother who back him correctly.

• The day a man no longer cheats is typically going to be when he realizes women are not having it. The woman in his life is not taking him back.

• He moves on to another relationship and gets caught cheating, and she won’t take him back. He meets other women who won’t take back a cheater, there are harsh consequences for his actions, and so forth, and so on.

• Sometimes, a man matures and stops cheating with the assistance of women’s intolerance to it.

• Or, he stops cheating if other women won’t lay down with him and enable him to cheat!

• When the right man realizes a woman will not be mistreated and won’t put up with his nonsense, he respects her. He is inspired to treat her correctly. If not, he is going to have to get lost, because the self-respecting woman won’t put up with his antics.

When noone else holds a man accountable, his woman should, before becoming too seriously involved with him.

• Some men seem to be wired to misbehave and are actually bred that way too, because of evil societal influence. Also, it is because plenty parents commonly do not put enough effort into training their sons correctly. Women must hold men accountable.

Other women have often enabled men’s bad behavior:

• For every womanizer that exists, women are choosing to support his ways by being involved with him, thus enabling him.

• For liars, there is ususlly a woman believing his lies, being controlled by them, or just cooperating with them, thus affirming him as a liar.

• For the cheater, there is a woman (or women) involved in cheating with him.

• Other women are tolerating and taking back cheaters.

• For the overgrown man who is still playing childish games with women, they enable and support his childishness. It is likely, he would not be in this condition at his age had women been refusing of such behavior. Their intolerance would pressure him to man up.

• For every unkind man who seems to be a woman magnet, women are allowing it. They are cosigning his mean antics, sending the message to him that what he is doing is alright.

• Each woman rewarding him by being with him is sending him the message that he is a winner. What he is doing clearly wins the ladies. This sends the false message that he is doing a good job, and that he is The Man.

Bottom line- some (not all) men have a natural tendency to behave in whatever way that women approve of.

They will try and get away with whatever they are allowed to get away with. This is a primary reason why it is so important that women only approve of and affirm righteousness in men.