Is it possible that men and women can get out of the natural order in relationships? People are free to do as they please, obviously. But the purpose of this post, like the purpose of my other posts, is to present life situations based on God’s word and His design.

Yes, the woman’s job is to reciprocate, to respond to a man’s initiative when it comes to relationships. It is a God-given dynamic. Even in 2024, when some women are chasing men and some men are standing around like princesses waiting to be pursued by women.

Yes, in 2024, when a growing number of women are pursuing men, shooting their shots and even proposing marriage to them. Yet, masculinity is meant to be assertive, take initiative in dealing with femininity, especially at the onset of romantic relationships and pursuit of marriage.

In male and female natural dynamics, masculinity gives, femininity receives. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not one-sided! Masculinity initiates and femininity reciprocates. The man should take initiative and the woman responds. When he is giving, she is receiving and giving back.

Three examples of masculine initiation, female receptivity and response:

1) Christ and the Church

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Ephesians 5: 8 NKJV

While the people of God were going on about our business still living in sin, and while most were not even born yet, Jesus took initiative to sacrifice Himself for us.

He died to pay the price for our sins. This was the ultimate act of love that we (the Church) responded to when we accepted the gift of salvation, by believing on Jesus, trusting and confessing Him as our Lord and Savior.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 NKJV.

Again, this acknowledges the initiation,  with God giving his son Christ to pay the penalty for our sins so that we could have everlasting life. The sons and daughters of God responded to this initial sacrifice by accepting the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

2) The man is supposed to find his wife.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18: 22 NKJV. It didn’t say she who finds a husband. The man is supposed to find his wife.

3) The animal kingdom.

Numerous species are observed and the male is typically the one pursuing. Males are more brightly and beautifully colored in many species. They have more to prove. 

A male has to make himself look appealing to the females. The females of many species have more dull colors; yet the males are already captivated with them, desiring them.

The males must prove themselves that they are the best ones to select, prove that they are very desirable. Sometimes, certain male animals fight each other to win and the winner is selected by the female(s).

Other males do dances or verbal performances to impress females. These males are initiating pursuit, and trying to woo and win over the females. The females respond.

I say this to say that generally, manhood means taking initiative, being responsible, putting forth effort, achieving. In my humble opinion, it is not in the best interest of women or men for women to become so lonely that we get outside of God’s design.

There is already an issue with some men turning to only fans and watching pornography; almost as substitutes for dating real, live women.

Dealing with real women face to face means they would have to have the courage to take the risk of rejection. Having real relationships means they would have to put in effort and care for someone rather than focus on self-gratification.

As women, I believe it is getting outside of God’s design if we begin throwing ourselves at men, pursuing men, chasing men. I do believe that if he is mature and relatively healthy as well as confident, it’s in a man’s nature; he is wired by God to go after the woman that he truly desires.

Women who go after men risk ending up dating or married to men who really just aren’t that into them.

Some men may find women’s advances a relief and irresistible. But it doesn’t mean a man who responds positively to a woman’s advances would have chosen her otherwise.

If he says yes, it doesn’t mean she was his top pick or his pick at all. He may just be saying yes because he has the opportunity and because she has made it easy for him. It’s important for women who initiate and pursue men to realize this is a risk they are taking.

I know that every situation is different and people do what works best for them. As always, this is a reminder of God’s design and that people truly do well when living according to God’s design. Friends, this is because God knows best!